


Once the River runs dry

by Milaley



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I can't belive I wrote fic for a minecraft roleplay server, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milaley/pseuds/Milaley
Summary: It doesn’t hit him. It just doesn’t. he thought Tommy died before, planned the funeral, wrote invites, gathered the materials for a monument, wrote a eulogy while crying so hard he had trouble making out his own words, only for Tommy to reappear safe and sound. He grieved before. Shed tears. For nothing.So, it doesn’t hit him. Because Tommy always comes back. He did the last time Tubbo planned a funeral.Tubbo learns of the death of his best friend but denial is a powerful thing.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smtih | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 2
Kudos: 139





	Once the River runs dry

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm writing fic for a Minecraft roleplay server but here we are...  
> I had this idea yesterday and it would not leave my head until I wrote it down.

It doesn’t hit him. It just doesn’t. he thought Tommy died before, planned the funeral, wrote invites, gathered the materials for a monument, wrote a eulogy while crying so hard he had trouble making out his own words, only for Tommy to reappear safe and sound. He grieved before. Shed tears. For nothing.

So, it doesn’t hit him. Because last time, Tommy came back as if nothing had ever happened.

Also, the last time Sam told him of the death of a loved one it was a lie.

And that still stings if he is honest. That lie. That lie that Michael was dead when Sam had in truth only kidnapped him. as if one can do something like “only kidnap” someone. As if there was an only.

The memory of how after Sam and Ant had left, Michael had clung to them still fills him with ice. The Zombie-Piglin had clung to them as if he was afraid, that the moment he couldn’t touch them anymore, they would disappear. Ranboo had carried him back into Tubbo’s home and had cuddled him close until he was asleep and Tubbo had repaired Michael’s playpen and then they had tucked him in with his favourite gold ingot and the softest blanked Tubbo owned.

So when Sam tells him now that Tommy was beaten to death by Dream, this is the first thing Tubbo can think of. That sting of that lie just a few days ago. He lied then about someone Tubbo holds dear being dead, surely this is just once more a lie. Payback for Tubbo’s harmless prank.

But then Sam repeats this lie and Tubbo isn’t so sure anymore if this is really only just a lie. But the last time when Tommy was dead, he wasn’t so surely… surely…

Tubbo flees the situation and Ranboo follows, gently asking if everything is ok. As if everything would not be ok. Tommy is fine. Yes, Tommy is fine. Tommy has to be fine. Tommy will be fine. He always is. In the end, he always is. He comes back with a shit-eating grin, smug and maybe a bit singed but he comes back. Like last time where he suddenly reappeared in front of Tubbo at the side of the man who once killed him.

So it was just Sam lying. And their communicators were probably just malfunctioning. Sam is good with technology; he probably could send a fake death message for a prank. And Tommy always comes back.

He did the last time Tubbo planned a funeral.

But Ranboo seems more mellow as if he actually believes that Tommy is… that he is…

They go to the church of prime, Tubbo jokes about how Tommy has told him that when he dies Tubbo shall use his death to pray for the fortune of the spirits of prime. They ring the bell and Tubbo laughs. And it feels hollow his laughter. Why does his own laughter feel so hollow?

It shouldn’t. Tommy is fine. Right?

Everything is fine right?

Right?

Right?

And it is. It is until Tubbo realizes that he is really, really tired and decides to head home. Ranboo gives him a tight smile and hugs him hard, crushing him close.

“what’s wrong big man?” Tubbo asks as he pads him on the back.

Ranboo lets go of him, he looks more somber now “you call me if you need me. Right? Promise me that you’ll call me.”

Tubbo laughs “of course I will memory boy, I’m not the one who has trouble remembering. Stop your worrying”.

Ranboo gives him a slightly lopsided smile, a sad lopsided smile “I’m your husband, we’re literally married. I am allowed to worry about your wellbeing as much as I want to.”

“Yeah, yeah. Pull the marriage card. I’ll head home. Good night big man!” he pats Ranboo on the arm, somehow the prospect of being alone now feels wrong but he is tired, and he also doesn’t want to leave Michael alone any longer. This was after all originally only planned to be a quick meetup to decide which floor to put in. now it’s been almost two hours.

“Give Michael a hug from me ok? I’ll come by tomorrow,” Ranboo says, he reaches up and ruffles Tubbo’s hair.

Tubbo grins up at him “I will Ranboo.”

He waves at Ranboo and Ranboo waves back as he turns towards Snowchester. And now suddenly there is this emptiness in his chest creeping up on him.

What if Sam wasn’t lying.

What if Tommy doesn’t come back

What if…

What if Sam was right.

Now that he is alone, walking over to his house this doesn’t seem completely improbable. Because if this really was just a prank Sam would have probably said so by now. He would not have let it go on for this long. The last time he lied he revealed the truth after maybe half an hour, it has been close to two hours now.

Is Tommy dead?

Tubbo walks up the steps to his house, opens the door. Michael is in his playpen, sitting on the soft blanket with his bee plushie, sucking on his favourite gold ingot. He looks up as Tubbo walks in, coos happily, and reaches out his hands towards him in a universal pick-me-up gesture.

Tubbo feels numb.

He walks over to the baby piglin, steps over the bars of his playpen, sits down and lets Michael crawl into his lap.

“Hey little man,” he says, “I missed you.”

And it is here that it hits him. here with his child in his arms, with Michael cradled in his lab that it hits him.

That Tommy is dead. That his best friend is dead. That Tommy will never find out that Ranboo and he got married, that Tommy will never meet Michael, that he will never hear Tommy rant on about how the hell he could have done this without him here, that he will never get to see Tommy feign annoyance that he is no longer the only person that is the most important to Tubbo, that he will never hear him say “how can you do this to Tubbo we where the iconic duo!” and then later hear him quietly admit to him that he is glad that he found another friend and someone what makes him happy because all Tommy ever wanted was for Tubbo to be happy.

All Tubbo truly ever wanted was for Tommy to be safe.

All he wanted was for him to be happy.

He just wanted to build a house, keep bees and be happy with his friends.

Now he will never see his best friend ever again.

The sob surprises him somehow.

As do the tears.

And the pain now blooming in his chest.

He build nukes to keep himself and Tommy and everyone safe from Dream.

Decommissioned them because Dream was locked up. Kept behind obsidian walls and lava.

No way to touch them.

Or so he thought.

Tubbo clutches Michael closer and cries.

He should have done something. Should have done ANYTHING. He should have taken the last remaining nuke and marched up to Sam, should have threatened him to release Tommy or else!

He should have…

He should have…

He should…

Maybe he could have done something.

Maybe… maybe… maybe…

Tubbo sobs and Michael’s small hands reach out to him, patting him on his cheeks. He’s making sounds of distress, close to crying himself, distressed by seeing his parent like this.

“I’m sorry,” Tubbo says and gently pets his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says again.

“I’m sorry,” he isn’t sure anymore who it is he is apologizing to.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I am so sorry Tommy I should have done something, I should have protected you I should have been the one who died, I had a good run, I was ready but then I didn’t and now you are dead and, and, and…”

Small hands and small arms wrap around his neck. Michael is hugging him. And Tubbo sobs and cries and wails.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there like this.

But then there are bigger arms around both him and Michael. Bigger arms that he knows and Tubbo looks up and through a blurry veil of tears sees…

“Ranboo?”

“yes, it’s me. I am sorry Tubbo for intruding but I got worried and wanted to check up on you both.”

Tubbo closes his eyes and leans his head against Ranboo’s shoulder.

He sighs.

“it’s ok. Thank you for coming”.

The tears are more silent now. Tubbo feels so empty.

“I’m just gonna, hold on a second” Ranboo mumbles and eases Michael out of Tubbo’s arms.

“hey little one, it’s alright. No need to cry ok? Ok?” he murmurs rocking the child.

Oh. Right. Michael has been crying as well.

Oh god, he feels so numb, so empty and tired and worn.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice…”

“It’s ok Tubbo, it’s ok you have… you have a lot right now and I’m here so…” Ranboo trails of, rocking Michael, he reaches for the gold ingot with one hand and hands it to him “there you go there you go.”

Tubbo watches them. Ranboo sitting on the floor next to him with the child that they adopted because it kept following them in the nether.

He Watches Ranboo calm Michael down until he falls into an exhausted sleep.

He watches them and it stings because he will never get to show this to Tommy.

Ranboo looks up at him, reaches out his hand and cards it through Tubbo’s hair, Tubbo leans into the touch.

“I am sorry Tubbo. I wish you could have stayed in denial a bit longer.”

Tubbo huffs an empty laugh “you knew from the start, didn’t you? you only went along with it to protect me.”

Ranboo shrugs and looks a bit guilty “I didn’t want you to hurt, I’m sorry.”

“no, it’s ok,” Tubbo says. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

The tears have stopped now. He doesn’t think there are any left.

“it’s ok, I don’t think I was ready to leave denial. Thank you.”

“that what marriage is for or so I heard.”

Ranboo puts Michael down on his blanket and tucks it around him. then he scoots closer to Tubbo and hugs him.

Tubbo feels safe. He leans against Ranboo, closes his eyes and lets himself be held.

“I’m sorry for you as well Ranboo, he was your friend too.”

Ranboo sighs and pulls him closer “it’s ok. It’s ok Tubbo.”

The last thing Tubbo notices before he falls asleep is a hand carding through his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Denial is not just a river in Egypt.  
> Also, I almost cried while writing this.


End file.
